Am I actually doing this? I have very little shame. Am I an alcoholic?….I think not…do I have a problem with drink…..YES. Please don’t make it so hard for me to love myself….. It’s quite cuntish. Im out here on my own… You are making it so much harder for me.. please be kind. If you refuse then I will find my fight again…. I WILL COME FOR YOU
There is a difference. But you know what has triggered my latest binge of drink and moping… The most unexpected thing… I freaked out at being loved. Like actually freaked the fuck out. I suffered love before…I am still torn apart by the fact that my ex-fiance refuses to speak to me. HE HATES ME. I can’t understand why. It has killed me for the last 3 years. I hate that he hates me. How can love turn and fester and sting so hard in the aftermath of its hay day?
I’m becoming tired of baring my soul. I’m sure that very soon I will stop. Do you know how it feels to feel constantly attacked for just wanting to encourage a situation where people are not attacked???? For just being allowed to be themselves… I’m not perfect but I was brought up well enough (as the oldest of 6 kids) to learn to accept a lot of difference. I can only see the world as I see my brothers and my sister… THEY ARE ALL PERFECT LITTLE FREAKS! They are all perfect and unique and I will fight tooth and nail for their freedom to exist as the amazing and fabulous little shit heads that they are…….
People you are wearing me down… but you are informing us that we need to fight on….
I hate you for stealing my joy….. I love you for making me question myself… on this I KNOW I AM NOT WRONG