PrEP is NOT about sex. PrEP is about HIV prevention and the deconstruction of HIV stigma.
Too often online I am met with PrEP shaming. In fact all variants of shaming. You name it and you can be guaranteed that someone will directly or indirectly set about trying to shame you for it. This is our first battle. The battle within ourselves and within our community. Just STOP IT! It’s not helpful or constructive. Fuck it! I will go as far as saying it’s darn right destructive and obstructive!
Why do we do this? And why is bareback sex BAD sex? I’ll tell you why! Because no matter how much we think we may now be accepted and integrated into a mainstream society we are still conditioned to believe that we should not be free to enjoy the kind of sex that we like. It’s a case of…
“Yes, you can fuck that guy up the ass but you better do it with a condom – otherwise you will catch HIV as punishment for being a bad gay”
“You can fuck that guy up the ass but how dare you ENJOY that sex without a condom because you are using PrEP”
This is in essence what other people are conditioning us to accept. And you can see how ludicrous those statements are.
Originally condoms were used for pregnancy prevention. Condoms were for straight people. Then when AIDS arrived, condoms were for gays and AIDS protection. The kind of sex gay men were engaging in ‘pre-AIDS’ was condomless sex. This was natural, good sex. Now condomless sex is seen as bad bum sex! Barebacking – it even sounds dirty, dangerous and feral.
I honestly couldn’t give a fuck who chooses to wear a condom and who doesn’t. That is each person’s own choice and to be negotiated with whomever he chooses to interact with sexually on a situation specific basis. No one has the right to impose their moral judgements on anyone else. Especially not when it comes to something so personal and intimate as the kind of sex we should or should not be having. As long as we are all responsible and considerate. PrEP is both responsible and considerate.
I find with people in general (not just gay men) that they don’t respond very well to being told “DON’T do this” or “DON’T do that”. Instead what they respond to positively and embracingly is been offered something they ‘can DO’ ie be given the choice of opting in for PrEP.
Here is an unused section of the interview I gave to HIV Equal. I thought it was worth sharing .
PrEP and slut-shaming
PrEP has been stigmatised here but attitudes are changing quickly, people are really switching on to the idea now… here is a post that I put on facebook…
“It seems our PrEP website users are as capable of taking matters into their own hands as much as we are… We haven’t managed to secure ANY funding yet and so currently have no promotional and marketing budget to allocate to producing some branded items… But Mark (our first IWPN user to post his PrEP delivery) has decided that he’s got this covered! He took the artwork and logo and created (and paid for) his own www.iwantprepnow.co.uk t-shirt that he is proudly going to wear on holiday!!! You see this is what PrEP is all about!!!! Forget about ‘little blue pills’ forget about ‘sex’!! It’s not about that – it’s this simple…PrEP can help our mates stay HIV negative and help kill stigma towards HIV positive people like me. It’s a community thing that benefits ALL of us. PrEP ‘shouldn’t’ be my fight!!! It’s too late for me to take it…so that is EXACTLY why it IS my fight and YOURS TOO. We all want to help our mates stay happy and stay healthy… We ALL support PrEP – it might just take some of us a little while to realise it – but that’s cool too Xx”
How www.iwantprepnow.co.uk came about
I started a big push on raising awareness of PrEP at the beginning of this year. No one else was really doing that here in the UK. As the momentum and interest grew so did the volume of messages I was getting in my facebook and Twitter inboxes. More and more guys were contacting me directly asking for info and where/how to get PrEP. I was struggling to keep up with the enquiries and so I spoke with my buddy Alex Craddock the co-founder of IWPN who was and is currently using PrEP (daily) as HIV protection and we agreed that it was a bit ridiculous that there wasn’t 1 place/site with all of the basic info you need about PrEP, supporting documents and links to trusted sites to purchase tested and verified generic PrEP. And that was its point of conception. Neither of us had the capacity to continue acting as an online PrEP help desk or call centre for PrEP info and access. We did some research and had some guidance from the right people and within 4 weeks we were live.
PrEP and the NHS
It is frustrating of course because over the last 30 years in the battle against HIV and AIDS, despite everyone’s best intentions and efforts – what we have been doing has not worked. That is not to diminish the huge amount of work, passion, heart and soul that my peers and predecessors contributed. Until recently the use of condoms, abstinence or remaining in a totally 100% monogamous relationship with another HIV negative person were the only options. Recently though with the release of the findings from The Partner Study we have discovered and begun to acknowledge and accept that condom-less sex with a HIV positive and undetectable guy is also HIV safer sex, it is practically impossible for an undetectable guy to pass on the virus.
Now we have the option of PrEP as another tool for HIV protection. The protection PrEP offers is close to 100%. A guy in the Damon L Jacob’s Facebook group ‘PrEP FACTS’ worked out the figures…here they are from his calculations…
“Almost nothing in medicine is 100%, probably including PrEP. But the research suggests that daily Truvada reduces the risk of acquiring HIV by 96% or even 99%. At 99%, that takes your 1.4% per incident risk down to 0.014%. If an HIV-postive partner is on effective HAART and virally suppressed, there is additional 96% risk reduction (at least), bringing the 0.014% down to 0.0006%. This is very close to zero.”
To put it very simply and at the risk of setting myself up for attack from ‘condom advocates’…
Condoms – even readily available FREE condoms aren’t working to reduce new infections.
If you don’t use a condom every single time you have any sex even oral sex then you are not 100% protected and even if you do manage to use a condom every single time you have sex – it can still break.
And this is the beauty and game changing potential of PrEP. If you take PrEP daily – you are HIV PROTECTED!
Here in the UK it costs the NHS about £20,000 per year to treat a HIV positive person. But to provide Truvada as PrEP for a HIV negative person would only cost the NHS about £5000 per year. If you want to take that a step further, generic PrEP can be purchased through our website for about £45 per month. So a year’s supply would only cost £540. That is one hell of a price comparison.
Of course these are just figures and price tags. The human/emotional value of helping someone remain HIV negative is priceless and on that front we can no longer shrug our responsibilities.
For the first time in 30 years we now have the chance to start winning. Winning against stigma too. If a negative guy is on PrEP he doesn’t need to concern himself with anyone else’s HIV status because he is protecting his own HIV negative status (and his sexual partners HIV negative statuses) by using PrEP – he is in total control.
San Francisco is the only city that have stabilised and are now reducing their number of new HIV infections. The reasons why are simple. TASP (Treatment as Prevention) where HIV positive guys are on effective ART (Antiretroviral Therapy) and are therefore HIV undetectable and non-infectious combined with PrEP for HIV negative guys. Can you see how perfect this combination is?
Positive guys can’t pass on HIV and negative guys can’t catch it. This is how we are going to win.
It’s not about us and our generation. I have two 5 year old nephews and I would love to think that by the time they are in their 20’s that we will have managed to reduce our number of new HIV infections in the UK to such a low level that neither of them need ever worry about contracting HIV as I have. It is for them and our straight friend’s kids that we need to own this and take responsibility and action NOW!
My long term goals for PrEP and TASP are to manage and reduce this country’s alarming and unacceptable number of new HIV infections then once we have our house in order lets put the focus back on the AIDS crisis. There is still an AIDS crisis. Not in this country, here in the UK we have a ‘new HIV infections’ issue – not an AIDS crisis. But in sub-Saharan Africa and even as close by as Eastern Europe and Russia they still have an AIDS crisis. We can’t allow our privileges to diminish our responsibilities in this global health care issue.