Last week Kyle posted a super cool, HIV stigma busting, PrEP praising video on facebook and it went viral. Rightly so! Props to you our friend! Obviously as we are totes about anything like this we tracked down the hotness that is Mr Kyle Goffney for a little chat…here’s how that went…
Hey Kyle. Thank you for talking to us at iwantPrEPnow. Your video was great. Can you tell us a bit about you and your relationship with PrEP and HIV safer sex.
Yeah sure. I’ve spent all of my twenties in 3 serious relationships and in most of those relationships condoms were not used. After I split from my last ex, I had to push myself to get back out there and start dating and having sex again. Which meant I had to get used to rubbers (condoms) again.
I hooked up with this couple for a threesome where the top guy took off his rubber while I was topping his partner and topped me bareback, without me realising. I was a wreck for a while after that. I went and got tested every 2 weeks, each time praying I was still negative. Fortunately, I didn’t catch anything and heard about PrEP at the same time and immediately got on it.
I have a very nice sex life and I’m OK being sexual and single. I’m cool because I now have extra protection besides a rubber (condom) when I’m having sex.
I’ve slept with men and women and still enjoy sex with both. I say ‘the sex game has changed now’ because no one is just one way in bed anymore. There are more out gay and bisexual people than ever before – which is great. But there is still a huge unknown number of the down low guys and girls. It doesn’t matter how ‘hot’ or ‘perfect’ some couples appear to be, a lot of couples have sexually open relationships. I’ve been in bed with girls and their dudes at the same time. The sex game has changed because we tend to be more sexually liberated, and less conformist and in turn it’s less simple to figure out who’s fucking who.
The excitement and exploration of sex, has now elevated to extraordinary measures. I know so many people who are positive, I used to lie awake at night thinking ‘damn will I be next?’ I got so afraid at one point that I even stopped hooking up, but the horny side of me always won.
Today, prep is one of the most important things in my sex life.
A couple years back I hooked up with a crush of mine. I wanted this person for so long. He was the very reason I got into the gym and got myself and my life together so I could finally have the confidence to approach him. Well, that opportunity arose and the night we hung out things got heated – sexually and we ended up with nothing on but socks. He stopped me and said wait I have to tell you something. My heart raced and I knew what was coming… I even held my breath and when he told me he was positive.
I didn’t feel fear, I felt an overwhelming feeling of respect.
I mean he could’ve kept this to himself because I was ready to go hard as a motherfucker in the sheets! But this was now just a moment between 2 people, nothing sexual, nothing forced. Just real honesty. I grabbed his face and kissed him slowly and I got hard again. I realised that after all the casual hook ups & un-invested sex I’d had, this was the 1st time in my life where the sex was honest. He liked me enough to give me a choice and opened my mind and made me look at sex in a new way which I had never expected or seen before and that will stay with me forever.
Was there a specific incident or series of events that made you think – OK enough is enough…time to do something?
I know so many people who lie or who won’t tell you their status. Particularly a former good friend who is very sexually active but still won’t reveal his status out of fear of rejection. I suppose it’s the mentality of ‘well nobody told me, so why should I tell them’. It’s sad that we have this vicious cycle. I have positive friends and I value honesty over anything. I don’t care how good you look, how many followers you have, or how straight up he or she comes off, you never really know who you’re taking to bed.
Like I said – the sex game has changed and I live in the real world.
After my post about this went viral, I received so many messages and so many people shared their stories with me. It’s refreshing to know I’m I having honest conversations with strangers.
Everyone wants the truth but no one wants to be honest.
I can’t relate to ignorant ass people many of whom commented some terrible things. These will be the same uneducated and arrogant people putting themselves at risk because they think HIV doesn’t apply to them, they think HIV is a gay thing or bisexual thing.
I didn’t start PrEP to stop. I didn’t speak up about this to stop. I will carry on – I can’t worry about what fools say. If I save just one life, if I protect someone’s health, if I decrease the stigma for HIV+ people in my message, then I have done and will keep doing my part!
Thank you Kyle – we think you are winning. Keep it up buddy and you have our full support!
HERE’S KYLE’S VIDEO